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Dear Diary, Today marks the day I welcomed a new presence into my life—a pet, if you will. So exciting! I can't wait to explore the depths of our interaction, to see how it responds to my "attentions". The thrill of discovery is intoxicating, and I find myself curious about the limits of its endurance. I wonder how long it will take for my new friend to get used to my... unique affections. If things don't work out, well, I'll just get a new one!